26 on the other side of the world

Today is my twenty-sixth birthday. In the grand scheme of birthdays it’s not so special, it’s not my golden birthday or one of the big numbers like 16, 18,21, 25, or 40. In fact, were it not for the unique place I find myself in 26 might have slipped by practically unmarked. As it is, I’m celebrating this otherwise unremarkable day in Mongolia! How weird is that? I’m also on the other side of the world from all of my family and friends that I’ve grown accustom to celebrating with.

Granted, birthdays have never been a huge deal to me, but as my students say – it’s a day that is all about you! (Which is why almost all of them listed their birthday as their favorite holiday.) To complicate matters, here in Mongolia it’s been my birthday for twelve hours, but it has just become my birthday in the US. (This did not deter my clever friends who sent perfectly timed emails that arrived this morning!) Realizations like this can widen the distance and really bring home the fact of separation.

I spoke with Tiffany for a few minutes before she headed to bed, and I’ll try to touch base with the rest of the family this evening which is nice. Where would we be without Skype? To tell the truth, it doesn’t feel all that odd of a day.

Yesterday the English department surprised me with a small party in our office – which I had no clue about until ten minutes before when Katie walked by in the hall with a cake and panicked  (smoothly done Katie). We celebrated two birthdays, since my teammate Hugh’s is only a few days after mine. It was very sweet, and I was given a beautiful cashmere scarf made right here in Mongolia! (And it’s my favorite color – green!)

After our faculty meeting the team headed out for dinner – my choice! We enjoyed delicious burgers from Burger Republic (so named because each burger is modeled on and named after a country. We enjoyed Swiss, Mexican, Australian, and American burgers) and then followed them up with some gelato!

This morning I came in to find my desk covered in balloons, candy, and Happy Birthday post it notes. (Once again sneakily placed there by Katie – this time she saw me coming and barred me from entering my office.) A few students and coworkers have wished me happy birthday, and in general I feel very loved aebrated.

As an added bonus, I don’t teach class on Thursdays so the only work I’m doing is lesson planning and helping my 11th graders practice speeches. I really can’t imagine a better day. I’m thankful to be where I am, to have the teammates and coworkers I do, and to get the chance to do something with meaning and valuable this year.

Of course there are hard days – there’s been a few this week. Most days I feel like I’m making forward progress. It’s just that some days I feel like I’m fighting for every inch of that progress with blood,  sweat and tears. Guess what, teaching is hard! Harder than I ever thought – so for those of your who chose this profession, I am in awe of you!

I’ve come to realize that some of my gifts and personality are well suited to teaching yet others need to be worked on. It’s amusing to me that these areas so often coincide with things that the Father has been trying to teach me for years. Things like patience, consistency, reliance on Him, and the necessity of asking for help.

The past two months have been some of the most difficult, embarrassing, and sheer breaking-down months of my life to date. What do you do when a student mocks you in a language you don’t understand? When none of your students do the homework you assigned? When you have to admit to the person observing  you that you have run out of material and don’t have anything to fill the last 20 minutes of class? What do you do when all you want to do is hide and cry?

There have been humbling times that have filled me with gratitude for all that I have taken for granted in the past. Do you truly appreciate  the privilege of growing up in a safe environment? You would  if a young women told you that her older brother drinks heavily then comes home and picks fights. Do you appreciate your parents? Maybe you would if a young boy told you heart-brokenly that he doesn’t know if his mother even loves him. Do you enjoy the freedom of going to fellowship whenever you want? Talk to the dear sister whose family blames every bad thing that happens on her forsaking tradition and joining the fellowship, whose family forbids her from coming and insists that she do extra chores instead. Spend a Saturday with this busy university student as she gives up her study time to cook and clean in order to appease her parents into letting her come. These are some of the heart-rending confessions that I am grateful and honored to be trusted with.

Of course there are beautiful moments too. When students seek you out to ask question or talk. When you really get to engage in meaningful conversations both with students and coworkers. When kids are engaged in the lesson or really communicating. There are smiles and laughter, and the shadow of the Fathers hand throughout my world.

I am confident that whatever trials I might be asked to endure, whatever hardships I must go through it will be worth it. If I feel pressure or fire I can know that it is the Potter molding me. Last night the Father showed me these words in the David’s 16th song:

Preserve me, O God, for I take refuge in You.
² I said to the Lord, “You are my Lord;
I have no good besides You.” . . . .

The Lord is the portion of my inheritance and my cup;
You support my lot.
⁶ The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;
Indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me. . . .

I have set the Lord continually before me;
Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. . . .

You will make known to me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
In Your right hand there are pleasures forever

As I begin another year, I want to say that He is my joy, and my heritage is beautiful to me. I praise Him for where I come from, and I praise Him for leading me down the path of life.  With Him by my side, I will not be shaken.